How to Pull Yourself Out of the Darkness

How often do we really pay attention to what our bodies are telling us? I have always been one to overexert and push myself way beyond my limits, and unfortunately it hasn’t been until lately that I’ve really started to listen to my body. No matter how much it may make me feel like I can’t do this or that, I know that I am not shirking my responsibilities, but I am doing it for my better self. Also, it’s important not only for my physical health but also my mental health. As someone who has dealt with/is dealing with the darkness of depression, I often forget just how fragile my mind can be. Did you know, for example, that stress alone can be harmful to your physical body? It actually weakens your heart, causing many problems, the most common being a heart attack. But that barely scratches the surface—hair loss, loss of appetite, weight gain, and fatigue are all symptoms of stress.

As of late, I have been experiencing all of this. On top of all that, I have also been very tempted to go back to my deepest, darkest days, to go back down that rabbit hole and revert back to my old habits that I thought were helping me but I know were only making things worse. I find myself going through the same thoughts, which I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking: What do I do? How do I make it stop? And wanting it all to just go away. For all the times I have said these things to myself, one thing I always reminded myself is that I’ve come this far. I made it through so much worse. Yes, I still feel pain and sadness, but I see the light; no matter how faded, I see it. I  remind myself to think of all I have fought for—personally, and emotionally.

All that being said I wanted to share how I climb out of my darkness, my hole.  It’s a rough fight, I won’t lie. I often start very small and go through the things I feel thankful for. For me it helps to not actually think of myself, but to think of all the other people in the world and all the things they might be going through. I recently had a conversation with a homeless person that left me almost angry with myself for having these feelings. Here was this wonderful man before me with not a touch of sadness in his eyes. He was living a better life than I was at that moment and I was ashamed to be thinking less of myself.

I often also think of all the other horrible things that are going on in the world that haven’t actually touched me personally. I guess you could say I try to make myself feel small in this large, large world, and that gives me a sense of space to allow myself to breathe again. After I don’t feel so surrounded and suffocated, I think of the personal things I have fought through in life, even if little. I get up every morning and realize I have two legs to stand on and am thankful for that. Despite the mental health and stress issues I face, overall I am healthy. Again, those are just the little things I think to myself that I know will mean something to me; everyone is different, and you may have a different perspective to take. When being thankful doesn’t seem to work, I turn to meditation. There are so many different kinds of meditation out there that you are bound to find one to help you. I have done multiple different ones and now seems I have a different variation for every mood.

Finally, something else I truly find that helps is an escape. If you can, try and get away for either an hour or maybe even a weekend. Thanks to my wonderful sister, I am often allowed to escape to her house across the country. Being with her and back home gives me time to myself and time to reflect on all the things that have been piling on over the months. I also love being in nature to reflect, calm, center, and strengthen myself. I highly encourage going out in nature to those who are struggling to find a way to feel like themselves. Go for a walk, go camping even. If you aren’t really an outdoors type, maybe just sitting on your porch for a little while can help.  “Me time” is always beneficial, and even though being alone with your thoughts can be scary, it may surprise you to learn what you can overcome on your own.

Lastly, I want to express how important is to talk to someone, be it a friend, a parent, professional or even me. The true path to healing has to start somewhere, and it doesn’t have to be a path you walk alone.

Posted by Jude

I am your Empathetic Oracle, what makes me qualified for such a title? Allow me to explain. Wasn’t until a few years ago that I decide to use all of my personal experiences to help others. I have always been a very empathetic person and that is partially because of everything that I have been through in life. I have fought through depression, suicidal tendencies and thoughts. High stress situations, and what has felt like unimaginable heartbreak. I have a very colorful background and instead of dwelling on my past and letting it control me, I have learned from it and want to share what I have learned with others who may be feeling the same way, or going through these similar situations and just want help. A big part of what I offer is privacy. I know how hard it can be to open up to a stranger so think of me as your diary that writes back. Simple put I am here to listen, and offer my guidance, opinion, or suggestion. There is absolutely no judgement on anything you have done, or are thinking. We are human beings and subject to constant mistakes and that is okay.

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